I have been working a lot of hours lately. The end of the crop year brings work to those of us who help farmers make decisions about their operations with the information they have collected throughout the growing season.

I guess it goes without saying that I have felt weary. I have also been feeling disconnected from God. I have not been finding the meaning and guidance that I have in the past while reading His word. This morning’s readings changed that. He spoke to me in big bold letters.

Is 40:25-31 To whom can you liken me as an equal?
says the Holy One.
Lift up your eyes on high
and see who has created these things:
He leads out their army and numbers them,
calling them all by name.
By his great might and the strength of his power
not one of them is missing!
Why, O Jacob, do you say,
and declare, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD,
and my right is disregarded by my God”?

Do you not know
or have you not heard?
The LORD is the eternal God,
creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint nor grow weary,
and his knowledge is beyond scrutiny.
He gives strength to the fainting;
for the weak he makes vigor abound.
Though young men faint and grow weary,
and youths stagger and fall,
They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength,
they will soar as with eagles’ wings;
They will run and not grow weary,
walk and not grow faint.

It does not get much clearer than that. It says to me keep connecting and He is always connected to us. The words are encouragement to keep seeking God and He will eventually find a way to overcome the veils we create between Him and ourselves with our actions.

103:1-2, 3-4, 8 and 10 R.    (1)  O bless the Lord, my soul!
Bless the LORD, O my soul;
and all my being, bless his holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits.

Just to make sure I knew God was talking to me he placed some of the words from one of my favorite songs in the Psalms. Matt Redman – 10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) I was introduced to this song in a morning prayer session that was part of a meeting I attended with Arlin Sorenson. Thanks Arlin! It’s part of every one of my workouts.

Mt 11:28-30 Jesus said to the crowds:
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

The Gospel was the proverbial Mack truck that says I see your weariness. He reiterates to keep coming back. Come back regardless of my sin. Come back regardless of my selfishness that needs to be told every day by His word that He loves me and sees my struggles. I need to have the confidence to remember He does love me even though I can’t see or hear it.

I start my day today renewed by the verification that He has not quit talking to me.

Rv 7:2-4, 9-14 “I heard the number of those who had been marked with the seal, one hundred and forty-four thousand marked from every tribe of the children of Israel.” Makes me wonder if the souls in Heaven are limited. Or was that the count at the time of John and this number has grown? I don’t know if any of this is correct.

My mind goes in a lot of different directions. We all know people who love math and maybe using numbers is a way for God to call these people to Himself.

My mom always said the book of Revelation was the hardest part of the Bible for her to understand. I find myself in the same situation. “These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.” Are these the number that are talked about? Like the family talked about in this coming Sunday’s readings [2 Mc 7:1-2, 9-14] from 2 Maccabees who died a cruel death because of their faith.

As I read further in the readings from today, I think I see why I am confused “Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed. We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” [1 Jn 3:1-3] What Heaven is has not been revealed to us yet.

In the Gospel [Mt 5:1-12a] Jesus does promise that we can count on Heaven being real and we can get there if we can control our humanness and conduct ourselves in faith.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
        for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
    Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you
        and utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me.
    Rejoice and be glad,
        for your reward will be great in heaven.”

This is not easy and I pray that God gives me strength to persevere.

Feast of Saint Luke, evangelist [Readings]

That pretty much says it all. Today is the day we, as the Catholic Church, celebrate the best author in the bible, in my humble opinion. Often when I read his work I can hear God speaking and giving me guidance in my life. I feel like if or maybe when Luke and I get a chance to speak, we will be speaking the same language as his writing style is straight forward and seems to tell it like it is. Right or wrong this is often my approach as well.

They call it a feast day, it makes me want to roast a turkey and celebrate a great man. I appreciate his work and sacrifice.

I will admit as we near mid-week of the last week of lent I have not done a very good job of keeping to writing about the daily readings. I have for the most part kept up with the readings and listened for God’s message in them. But taking the time to sit here and put what I learn into text has been a challenge. Feeling that I have a lack of time mostly is to to blame. It’s not that I don’t like to do it. Actually, I really like it. But it is the pull of so many other things that keeps me from sitting here and doing it.

I started writing this because I felt a call or I heard a call (I think) to do it. But acting on it or doing it regularly is where I have fallen short. Isaiah (IS 49:1-6) in today’s first reading is foretelling that Jesus will not fall short. He will do as He is commanded and be sacrificed for the world’s sin and thereby bring Jacob and all of Israel (and us) back to God. Jesus sings of God’s salvation through his actions just like the Psalm says (71:1-2, 3-4A, 5AB-6AB, 15 AND 17).

Judas. Do you have to say anything more about the Gospel (JN 13:21-33, 36-38)? I find it interesting though that Judas took the morsel and Satan entered him. That actually scares me. Can Satan enter anyone anytime? I (although don’t take my word for it as I am no scholar) think if you keep Jesus in your heart there is no room for Satan. Judas must have opened himself to Satan and the evil that came from him.

The other striking thing that I find in the Gospel is when Jesus tells his disciples as Judas leaves “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and he will glorify him at once. My children, I will be with you only a little while longer. You will look for me, and as I told the Jews, ‘Where I go you cannot come,’ so now I say it to you.” They only hear that He will physically be with them a little while longer. They completely miss His message of being glorified and DOING what he was called to do. If I put myself in their position knowing what I know about Who they were with I am dumbfounded at their lack of foresight. Being that close to God through Jesus seems like it could have brought awe and joy but instead they only heard about what was going to immediately affect them. They were going to physically lose their Leader.

How many times are we hearing something and only shortsightedly seeing the immediate effect on ourselves? Are missing opportunity to realize we are closer to God then we think? Are we missing the opportunity to recognize growth because of pain? Am I not investing my time in what brings me closer to God?

Who are you afraid of? It is fear that the readings are about today. In the first reading Joseph ends up in a tough spot because his brothers were jealous and greedy. They initially were going to kill him but after finding a better option (to make some money) they ended up selling him to a caravan of Ishmaelites.

I asked myself while reading this story from Genesis (GN 37:3-4, 12-13A, 17B-28A) why did Joseph’s brothers want to kill him? I came to the conclusion it was fear. They were afraid that Joseph was going to inherit more than they were. Their fear was driven by jealously and greed.

Who are you jealous of maybe because of greed? I know I have been jealous of people in my life. What makes us jealous? In my case it is material things. It’s money, it’s cars, it’s business success, it’s popularity. The problem occurs when I compare myself. I think to myself “I work as hard as anybody and why shouldn’t I be the most successful.“

The Psalm response gives me a clue about what I do wrong when I compare myself to others. It says to “Remember the marvels the Lord has done.” I am too busy looking at the marvels in someone else’s life rather than my own. My mom always used to remind us to count OUR blessings. I certainly have many.

What happens when you go too far to try to get what others have? You certainly risk taking advantage of them. In today’s Gospel Jesus uses a parable about a vineyard owner who goes on vacation to explain what the leaders of the Israelite church were doing to their followers and God’s prophets. In order to protect their wealth and position they were ignoring God and killing His servants. This may be an extreme example of where greed and jealously lead, but it’s a efficacious example of what not to do.

I am having trouble tying the readings together this morning. I think that God is asking through Isaiah (IS 1:10, 16-20) and through Jesus’s teaching in Mathew’s Gospel (MT 23:1-12) to think about our actions. Are we using our power to mislead or manipulate others who look up to us? We are asked in the first reading to “Come now, let us set things right”. To be an appropriate example.

I find it interesting in the Gospel that Jesus makes what seems to be a strange statement about fathers. Jesus says, “Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven.” This is a confusing statement to me. Logically, we all have what humans have termed a father otherwise we would not be here. But I think Jesus is telling us do not get locked into roles of someone always being right. Jesus is telling us that kids can be the example to their parents.

The people of Israel had gotten locked into believing their leaders were always right and they suffered because of it. Jesus warned his disciples not to follow the example of the Pharisees, He says they are do as I say not as I do kind of leaders. Because the people of Israel blindly followed them they endured much suffering. Jesus makes this clear by saying “They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them.”

Why did the Pharisee’s actions make Jesus so mad? I think it’s because they did it in God’s name. They used their knowledge of God and His word to extort wealth and favors from the people. Jesus tells us “The greatest among you must be your servant.” A good servant consistently does what they are asked with little fanfare or recognition. You do not see them but you see the results of their work. That is what Jesus is asking us to be.

I think I hear God telling me to clean up my act. Do not look for recognition but consistently do what is right. Be on the lookout for and follow the example of others who are doing it right even if they are my kids. The reward will be the response from the Psalms (50:8-9, 16BC-17, 21 AND 23) “To the upright I will show the saving power of God.“

Today’s first reading from Esther (EST C:12, 14-16, 23-25) talks about Queen Esther laying prostrate on the ground begging God to save her from her enemies. Without reading the passages before this reading I don’t know exactly what the situation is, but it seems like she has waited for the last minute and as a last resort she has turned to prayer. I know this feeling. Normally, my first reaction is to try to solve issues myself. To take control. When that doesn’t work then maybe I will pray.

The question is why do I do it? I think it is a control thing. That I want to do it myself. I do know God cares about me and will lead me in the right direction. He reminds me in the Gospel today (MT 7:7-12) by saying “If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.” He is reminding me to ask Him for what I need.

Recognition. I am sitting here thinking, do I always recognize what God does do for me when I do ask? I don’t think I do, at least not always. I think it takes special awareness and attention to see God’s gifts to you. Sometimes it is not clear. What I mean is, I can think of a time when I asked for something and I got pretty close to what I asked for but it had some extenuating circumstances. Was that God? I am going with yes. I think to see God’s work in your life most of the time you have to read into what you get. You have to see things from a broader perspective and accept that God has a plan where you will get what’s best for you.

I don’t always turn to God first. When I am distracted by my life’s busy pace it’s hard to remember to do but, I will continue to practice to get better.

Isaiah (IS 55:10-11) in the first reading tells us that God sends His word to earth like the snow and rain to make our minds fertile to doing His will. I find this the most powerful phrase of the passage; “It shall not return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it.”

I hear God saying if we read and follow His word in the bible we will return to Him after living a life where we served Him. I had a conversation this week with our priest and we were talking about the readings from Genesis (GN 2:7-9; 3:1-7) in this weekend’s mass. In it the serpent convinces Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. The question I came away from the conversation with, is why did God make “tree of the knowledge of good and evil”? I think I hear the answer in Isaiah’s words “shall do my will”. If Eve would have done God’s will she would not have eaten the fruit.

How does this apply to me? I think we have to recognize that there are many things in the world designed to put distance between us and God. To listen to His word and do His will we should do our best to navigate our way around those things. His word can be a source of strength when we are tempted. From the Psalm (34:4-5, 6-7, 16-17, 18-19) “I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”

In today’s Gospel from Mathew (MT 6:7-15) Jesus teaches His disciples to pray a simplistic prayer that says many truths about living a life following God.

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

I recite this prayer often. From now on when temptation strikes this will be my go-to.

Today is the first day of lent 2020. I always give something up for lent. Why do I do this? Simple my mother is the answer. I have vivid memories of her coming home from work for several days after Ash Wednesday physically ill. Not because of flu or other ailments but because she always gave up coffee for lent. She was a pot-a-day coffee drinker and when she would quit cold turkey it would bring on terrible withdrawal symptoms. I mean this was a woman who disliked pop with a passion but she would sip Mt Dew to ease her discomfort.

The question is why would she do this? She did it because it was difficult and in doing so she showed her love for Jesus. It was her way of living like Joel recommends in the first reading when he states “Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the LORD, your God.” My mom was tearing her physical self in an effort to return to God. She was living like Paul recommends in the second reading in his letter to the Corinthians “We are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us.” She was representing Jesus’s sacrifice by her own sacrifice.

Finally, she did this without complaint. Had I not been a witness to her suffering I would never have known. This is just how Mathew tells us act in today’s Gospel by saying “Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them;“. She did not give up coffee to impress anyone or to draw attention to herself. Rather, she did it to prove her solidarity with Christ.

So now you know why giving something up for lent is part of me. I am no pot-a-day coffee drinker but I do love starting my day with a couple cups. Because of my mom’s example I will forego coffee for the next 40 days. In a effort to bring a new flavor I will also be publishing my learnings from the readings at least two times per week.

I hope that you have a blessed lent!